Sunshine Today, Sunshine Tomorrow

Yesterday before I fell asleep, I realised a greater truth about myself. It's funny how you can shift mental states and not really realise it. States that can be completely out of persona and consume years of your life. As I lay there in my bed, I finally saw that I walking down a path, which I shouldn't be following.

For the first time in a long time I woke up feeling content in this special way. Yes, I could feel that I have taken one step closer to the person whom I once was. The results were instantaneous, when I left my home. People seemed to smile more and the birds actually did whistle and not curse at me.
At work I was able to shield myself behind my mood, and all the bullshit and the intrigues bounced off of my mental kevlar that protected me from negatives energies. I was angry at myself for not seeing this earlier, but perhaps I needed to fall to realise, how high up I was.

With my new pair of eyes, I was able to grasp things differently. I noticed small things that I would normally ignore. One incident today was, when I on my way home stopped by a place to buy some food. When I first entered the place, there was a man in his late 60s sitting in a purple jacket and grey trousers eating silently. His meal consisted of chips and chicken sparsely distributed on a small plate. While my food was being prepared, which took roughly 10 to 15 minutes, the food on the geezer's plate somehow did change much, and I suddenly noticed why.
This guy was eating incredibly slow. It looked like a cautious process. Slowly balancing the chips on his fork and getting these soaked on enough fat that drenched the plate. A good simile in this case, would be like watching a grizzly bear trying to deflower a virgin fly. I wouldn't be surprised, if he had actually gotten on all four and started licking the plate clean. For fuck sake, it's chicken and chips, it's not French cuisine, where you sit and enjoy the savoury sensation and the restaurants interior decorations. No, this was a dodgy little fish'n'chips shop on a dodgy road in a very dodgy part of town. Some people just overcomplicate things and forget to enjoy the beauty of simplicity.

Walking with my food in my hand back to the house, I remembered how yesterday had been and how today was. Tomorrow would be better for sure. My sunshine days had finally come crashing into my life.
Many things were life are irreversible, but this one wasn't. Your mental state could shift and change, but your true essence would always stayed submerged and stored behind those infinite layers of changed, until one day it will pop up from beneath the surface and float on top like a turd on the oceans of this life time.

Edward T. Shufflebottom